Becky J Miller

Archive for the ‘China’ Category

When I was a little girl my Daddy built my sister and me the coolest toy box ever. Made of wood, painted blue with a puppy decal and hinged white top, it held almost all of our toys. It was so big that sometimes I would get inside and close the lid. I liked hiding in there, as long as I knew I could get out whenever I wanted. Once, trying to tease me, Daddy sat on the lid, trapping me inside. I tried to remain calm but fear captured all rational thought and I panicked. Screaming, crying and beating on the box I demanded to be let out. Of course Daddy rescued me immediately, but my toy box hiding days were over for good.

There are seasons of my life when I still feel like I’m trapped in that toy box, demanding to be let out, like now. After spending four years in full time ministry, through circumstances not of our choosing, my husband and I found ourselves reemployed in secular jobs. At the time, those jobs were a blessing, God’s provision when we needed it. But today, I am less than satisfied with my circumstances. Most people decide what to do with their lives in their early twenties. Me, I am a late bloomer; it has taken me forty two years to arrive at this pinnacle. My heart’s desire is to live out the gospel in a tangible way, travelling the globe, offering Christ’s love to orphans and widows, and serving in whatever capacity Father directs. To say that I sense impending doom would be melodramatic, but I am certain change is on the horizon. Right now my two worlds work in cooperation, but collision is imminent. How do I navigate this transition? There is no chartered course.

Before travelling to China, my discontentment was easily held at bay. Post China, it is magnified. Travelling to Haiti this week will compound the issue. These trips do not spell the end of my global ministry. The nations of Africa call to me. Do I deny the cries because my vacation days are consumed? Questions abound while answers are elusive. For now, I wait patiently in the toy box, trusting that when the time is right, Father will open the lid and grant my freedom!!!

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Rebecca [Becky] J Miller

Too much time has elapsed since my last blog post. My intention is to write once a week, but the best of intentions are pointless without practical application. As it often does, my life currently feels completely out of my control. My husband and I are in a place of transition. Transition to where? We are not quite sure, but we definitely feel the pain of birth. God is birthing something new, but we have yet to fully enter into the new phase. So, we continue to feel the clutch of the old while yearning to reach out and embrace the new.

Odd as it may sound, much of the inspiration for my writing comes from pain; mine or someone else’s. Some would find my expressions dark and sorrowful. I prefer to think of myself in good company. Ever read any of King David’s writings, or how about King Solomon’s? Ecclesiastes 3:4 says; there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” This morning as I was reading, praying and reflecting I realized that despite the discomfort I am experiencing in this transitional phase, the Lord has been moving phenomenally in my life the past few months. So, this post is birthed from a place of joy rather than pain.

Who doesn’t have dreams, hopes, aspirations, and a bucket list of sorts? I certainly do. Until recently though, it seemed as if I were destined to live my life with unfulfilled dreams. I cannot put my finger on the exact day circumstances began to change, but I can point to the exact day tangible change surfaced. Maybe it seems silly, but running 5K’s is something I have always wanted to do, but have just never done. After a good friend completed her first 5K, I decided there was no reason I couldn’t do the same, so I registered for my first race, and coerced my friend into participating with me. To my incredible surprise, I not only completed the race, no stopping or walking, but finished first in my age division. That race was in April 2010. In three short months I have completed three 5K races, twice placing first in my age division. Sounds to me like Divine Acceleration.

God also has his foot on the gas pedal in the mission outreach arena of my life. My husband has always been the preacher, done the world travelling. Part of me secretly desired to live out the gospel that way, but never really expected that I would be granted an opportunity. Boy was I wrong! May 2010 marked my first mission trip; two weeks serving in a Chinese orphanage. Just six weeks after my return from China I depart for my second mission trip, this time to a Haitian orphanage. I am completely humbled and amazed that God has chosen me for this work, provided the finances for the trips and granted me the desires of my heart in such an accelerated manner. Had someone told me a year ago that I would travel to two foreign countries to work in orphanages, with the trips spaced only six weeks apart, I would have shaken my head in disbelief. It is probably a good thing that God didn’t fill me in on his plans ahead of time.

In August 2007, hoping to complete my education, I returned to college full time. That semester, in English I at Texas State University, through an amazing professor, God reignited my passion for writing. During that class my self confidence was given an incredible boost. Searching for a creative outlet, a year ago my blog was birthed. The blog has proven a therapeutic, tool sharpening, launching pad for me. On a hurried whim, I submitted several pieces of my work to Write for Charity. Deep inside I hoped my work would be selected for publication and yet I doubted that such an amazing thing would happen to me. Imagine my shock when I received an email informing me that not just one, but two of my poems had been selected for publication. Descending the stairs to inform my husband, I could only cry and point. The first run of the book has been approved for printing and is in process. My copies should arrive on my doorstep at the end of July 2010.

Honestly, I have done absolutely nothing to deserve the favor of God on my life during this incredible season. He has chosen to show his love for me in such a staggering way. I cannot begin to fathom or explain why. I only know that my heart overflows with gratitude that my Father loves me so magnanimously. My sole desire is to live out my life for His glory and to be a beacon of light shining in the dark places.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Rebecca [Becky] J Miller