Hope in Front of Me

I’ve been running through rain That I thought would never end
Trying to make it on faith In a struggle against the wind
I’ve seen the dark and the broken places But I know in my soul No matter how bad it gets
I’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen There’s hope in front of me
There’s a place at the end of the storm You finally find
Where the hurt and the tears and the pain All fall behind
You open up your eyes and up ahead There’s a big sun shining
Right then and there you realize
You’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen There’s hope in front of me
There’s a hope still burning
I can feel it rising through the night And my world’s still turning
I can feel your love here by my side
You’re my hope
You’re the light, I still see it
Your hands are holding me Even when I don’t believe it
I’ve got to believe, I’ve got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope

Song by: Danny Gokey

Life can be incredibly hard sometimes. If you are anything like me, those hard times can cause much inner-turmoil. As a believer I somehow bought into an altered form of the gospel, one that says if I’m a child of the King, everything will always go well for me. That’s just not true. John the Baptist was beheaded. Did he die because of his sin? No, he died because of his faith, and his willingness to speak against what was wrong. Why then do we expect God to protect us from trials and tribulation? He promises never to leave us nor forsake us meaning he walks through the storms with us, not keep us insulated from them.

My husband and I are currently navigating through a difficult situation. Two years ago he left a well paying job with benefits to pastor a small church over 200 miles away from where we live. I could not go with him because our youngest son was in his senior year of high school and I was attending a local college, plus my job was in San Marcos and one of us needed a steady paycheck. He went because he was called to go. My preference was for him to keep his comfortable job with the nice paycheck, but I knew that was not what God wanted, so I agreed to give up my husband and the security of his paycheck. Nothing about the last two years has been easy; he travelled four or five days of every week while I held down a full time job, and took a full course load in school. It’s been a lonely and stressful two years, and now it is coming to an end. While one might think that’s cause for celebration, it’s really not.

Now we face the uncertainty of a directionless future; he has no job prospects and no income. I’ve graduated from college but am currently at the same job, making the same amount of money I was before I went to college. We have knocked on every door imaginable, only to find them welded shut. God must have a plan, right? He has to, but whatever it is, He has been very slow in revealing it to us. But this song by Danny Gokey, “Hope in Front of Me”, I swear he wrote it about me. You see; we have lived through this very thing before. It was ugly and the recovery was slow and painful, but there was a recovery, a time when there was finally light and the tears subsided. I have to believe there is still hope in front of me and that His hand is still holding me, even in the times I struggle to believe it. Until that day arrives, I’ll keep this song set on “repeat” just so I don’t forget.

Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”

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