When You Didn’t Marry A Preacher

Twenty-nine years ago when James Miller Jr & I said, “I do” he most definitely was NOT a preacher.  Frankly, he was barely even a Christian, a new convert as it were.  While I certainly desired a Godly mate, being married to a preacher was not something that had crossed my mind…EVER!  Jesus and church have been part of my life for as long as I can remember, but being in ministry has not.  When he decided to become a credentialed minister, I naively assumed that decision would have no affect on me. Boy was I mistaken, and years down the road, I am still navigating through the consequences of that choice…good and bad.

Three weeks ago we took over the pastorate of a small church in our community, Greater Love Church – San Marcos, Texas.  It was one of those “SUDDENLY” type things that one never sees coming, and you can never truly prepare for.  Although this is the place where I find myself, I honestly have no desire to be a pastor’s wife.  Pastors are expected to deal with people, and people are often messy, needy and shallow, myself included.  Keeping me in check is a full time job, so why would I want to take on someone else’s idiosyncrasies too?  This place looks nothing like my desires, for my desires are selfish; I long to live closer to my family and I wish for financial security, you know, a healthy income, with company sponsored benefits and a retirement plan.  This place is filled with irony, the type defined by failure and rejection.  It is a place I have visited before, was excommunicated and then spent many years recovering from, a place I never anticipated returning.

Please do not misunderstand me; this decision was made jointly.  I believe God has us in this place for a purpose, what that purpose is, has yet to be determined.  What exactly my role is supposed to look like, I have no idea.  Why He would choose us is beyond me?   Well, not entirely.  If anyone can do this job, it is James, but unfortunately he comes with baggage; green eyed, curly-headed, tattooed, shoe loving, little bit of a rebel, baggage.  But, if God can speak through a jackass, then I suppose all hope is not lost when it comes to me being the wife of a preacher, even when that was not exactly the choice I made.  So, “for better or worse” here is where you will find me.

Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”

One thought on “When You Didn’t Marry A Preacher

  1. Bob says:

    To be open and transparent is a great quality. Not to know exactly what the Lord has in store for your future is a norm, so we go by faith. To be a pastor’s wife is something my wife had to deal with because when we got married it wasn’t in the picture. But here’s what I know, God puts us in places we really didn’t see in our future but He always guides us to where He wants us to be. So be yourself and remember each of us are individuals and the Lord uses us where He sees fit. Bj

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