According to Merriam-Webster, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/scar, a scar may be defined in several different ways: 1. A mark left (as in the skin) by the healing of injured tissue 2. A mark or indention resulting from damage or wear 3. A lasting moral or emotional injury .
Given the number of scar reducing and scar covering products on the market, I believe it is safe to say that we as a general population have a negative view of scars. Why is that so? Why are scars viewed as imperfections to be hidden rather than badges of honor to be cherished?
Quite often, our view of self is distorted and the glaring imperfections we feel are obvious to the world probably go mostly unnoticed. Such was the case with several of the scars I was left with after a car accident in 2011. The titanium halo I wore to aid in the healing of my broken neck was bolted to my head in four places, two in the front and two in the back.
Once the halo was removed, I was left with two, what I felt were huge, imperfections right on my forehead, where anyone looking at me was sure to notice them. Ever seen a picture of the Disney character Shrek? His ears are unusual; they stick out from the sides of his head sort of like a child’s bicycle horn. Well, those scars left me feeling like Shrek’s ears were mounted to my forehead. See what I mean about a distorted image of self?
I did my best to reduce the appearance of those scars, treating them with “miracle scar reducing products” and buying special [read expensive] scar covering make up. Yet, despite my best efforts to hide them, I was convinced that anytime anyone had to look at my face, they were surely repulsed by my scars. Honestly, I’ve no idea if anyone ever noticed those scars but to me they were blinking beacons of my defectiveness.
One day my wise baby brother sent me this picture and said he’d thought of me when he saw it. That one random act completely changed my perspective. Five years later, I hardly think of the scars, but when I do they remind me of all I overcame to arrive at the destination of today.
Just like me, many people carry scars both physical and emotional, but hidden within those scars are the stories of overcoming odds, enduring hardships, and never quitting. My beautiful niece Ashley’s legs are literally carved with scars due to a genetic disorder that left her with brittle bones that break easily. She was less than one year old when her femur, the hardest bone in the body to break, broke for the first time.
Although I am sure both Ashley and her momma can tell you the exact number of breaks she sustained, I lost count many years ago. For a small child with a serious bone break, a full body cast is required. Bone breaks and body casts never slowed that girl down though. I can vividly recall her scooting around on the floor, in a body cast, keeping up her older sister and cousins as if she suffered no impairment!
Not only did Ashley suffer multiple bone breaks, but also as she got older, she underwent numerous surgeries to insert rods in her legs to help strengthen the bones and protect against breaks. As she grew, smaller rods had to be replaced with larger ones. Never in her almost 23 years have I heard Ashley complain about her circumstances or her scars.
Are some days easier for her than others? Yes, the weather can leave her stiff and sore, but when I see her in shorts and look upon those scars I am reminded of her inner strength. For me those scars represent Ashley and all that is beautiful about her.
What scars are you hiding that should be celebrated? What stories do those scars tell? What wisdom gained from those scars can be shared with someone else who might be encouraged? Your scars are a beautiful reminder that you are stronger than whatever tried to hurt you!
Until Next Time,
Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”