Working for a community college has many perks; the best one, in my humble opinion, is that in addition to paid personal days, sick days and vacation days, there are multiple college wide days off like four days at Thanksgiving, two weeks at Christmas and a week for Spring Break. I cherish my time away from work, and endeavor to use those days to the fullest.
My first official adult spring break was utilized to move from San Marcos to Beeville (blah, work), but the next two were absolutely for fun; an early anniversary trip to Niagara Falls/Toronto, Canada and the next a visit to see family in Florida.
My mother, maternal grandparents and essentially most of my extended family reside in Florida. Shamefully, it had been probably been about six or eight years since my last visit. Don’t judge me, my mother usually comes to Texas twice a year, so I’d seen her, just not everyone else.
Several days before our departure my mom calls with unanticipated news, news she felt I needed to hear prior to our arrival in the Sunshine State. The family had just found out about a new cousin, a bouncing baby girl who’d arrived on the planet 48 years ago. What? Uncle has a daughter no one knew about? Okay. Wow. Honestly, my initial concern was for Uncle’s four sons; how did they take the news?
Living almost 1200 miles away, the revelation seemed surreal. A cousin I’d never met; please don’t think me heartless, but how did all of this really impact me? I’m a grown woman who resides in another state. Then, a moment of panic struck, followed by relief that my cherished spot as the oldest grandchild was still intact. Laurie is 48. I am 51.
Okay, I still reign, this new cousin does not usurp my birth order position, never mind that my baby sister may no longer hold the #2 position, in my mind, all remains right with the world.
When we initially arrived in Florida, Uncle was the only person to have actually met her, so there was much chatter about the newest family member. At an early birthday lunch for my grandmother, pictures were shared with my great aunts, and discussions were held about whom she resembled.
It was clearly established that she and her family would certainly be extended an invitation to the annual Thomson Thanksgiving (having experienced a Thomson holiday event, I vowed to give Laurie a synopsis of what to expect from this eccentric group).
Although formal introductions had not yet occurred, many family members, including my mom, had embraced Laurie on Facebook. Being a somewhat reserved individual, I really wasn’t sure how to proceed with establishing contact, so I quietly observed interactions but made no attempts of my own.
During our time in Florida, we spent a lot of time visiting family and exploring previously undiscovered heritage. Since family members were tagged on my Facebook posts, Laurie could see, and “liked” many of them.
Although I was secretly glad she was learning about her biological family via my posts, still I could not bring myself to interact with her. It was just weird. Not because of her, not at all, she is completely innocent of the circumstances surrounding her birth, but simply because I myself am often awkward and unsure.
Two nights before we were scheduled to leave Florida, I finally decided it was time to make contact. She was after all, blood related and deserved to know as much about her biological family as she desired.
I knew the plan was for her to attend one of her youngest brother’s baseball games after we were back in Texas. I messaged her on FB giving her a breakdown of where I fit into the family; you know oldest grandchild and all, my relation to her father and who my mom is. I expressed sadness that we lived out of state and would be gone when she planned to meet most of the family.
What happened next came as a complete, and unanticipated surprise. She offered to drive an hour from her home in Orlando to meet us for dinner in Lakeland where we were staying. Oh. Dear. Ensue panic. MOM!!!
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet her, I was concerned I’d stepped outside of the boundaries of proper protocol. What if Uncle wanted to introduce her to everyone first? I despise stirring up trouble. My mom however, assured me all was well, and we made plans to meet Laurie and her daughters for dinner.
A little tidbit, being from South Carolina, I am a HUGE Clemson fan. My dear, sweet, cousin, graduated from the University of Alabama. Anyone who follows college football knows about the COLOSSAL rivalry existing between the two schools. They may also know about the beat down Clemson served up to Alabama during this year’s National Championship.
Under normal circumstances, i.e., if I’d known Laurie all our lives, I would have cherished rubbing the victory in her face. However, my polite Southern upbringing dictates that such topics should ne’er be discussed at a first meeting. Alas, life conspired against me, and I showed up at dinner that night in a bright orange Clemson Tiger t-shirt.
Honest Abe, I did not intend to wear a rival college’s shirt when I met my new cousin for the very first time. What happened was this; prior to making dinner plans with Laurie, we had scheduled a family beach day with my mom and aunt. Time, random occurrences, and traffic kept us from a home base pit stop to shower and change before dinner. I did apologize profusely at my unfortunate choice of apparel, and Laurie was gracious.
With the dust of her existence settled and our first meeting behind us, I can’t help but wonder how life might have been different with her in it. My sister and I always had such a great time during our bi-annual trips to Florida, particularly because our youngest aunt is only four years my senior.
Would Laurie have been part of those summer and holiday adventures? We didn’t really get to see her brothers much growing up, but might I have insisted because she’s a girl and so close to our ages? I would like to think so.
Laurie shared a FB video her childhood snapshots. It made me happy and sad at the same time. I was happy to peek into her life, but sad that I am not part of her history nor she of mine. Even though I rarely saw her brothers during my youth, I nevertheless have clear and distinct memories of them all.
From another perspective, it could be that I might have been utterly jealous of her had she, due to proximity, spent more time than I with my Favorite Aunt Connie. We will never know.
What I do know is this; I am happy Laurie found us. I am happy to have a new cousin. I am happy to have met both her and her adorable daughters. I am happy we can spend the remainder of our lives getting to know each other.
Until Next Time,
Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”