Life is a funny thing; one minute the stars are aligned and all is well, then next minute you are flat on your butt wondering what happened. My life seems to run in seasons. There are seasons of hardship when enduring the turmoil is about all I can do, and seasons of joy where I feel untouchable. Whether or not this is actually true, the hardest seasons seem like they last the longest. For two years I plowed my way through an exhausting season; I went back to school full time to finish my undergraduate degree, worked full time and managed much of the household alone while my husband pastored a church in a town over two hundred miles away. We survived; I graduated, my husband is back home again and we are in a quasi-comfortable rhythm.
Just as summer changes to fall, at least according to the calendar, even if it is not reflected on the Texas thermometers, the season of hardship passed and we entered a new season. The start of the new season was chaotic and frustrating. There were questions about what steps we should take next in both the professional and family realms. We had decisions to make with no clear path and as a first-born, obsessive planner; uncertainty is not something I suffer well. The first time we left our oldest son with a baby sitter there were literally five pages of notes, I wasn’t taking any chances! When our three children were in school and sports I was the quintessential soccer mom with Plans A, B & C. You would be hard pressed to catch me unprepared, so when it seems like life is spiraling out of control, I struggle to remain calm. And boy when I erupt, look out!!! I am one of those people that if I trip because my shoe came untied, it starts a ripple effect, and before you know it I have managed to lay blame on every unfortunate, uncomfortable or unfair occurrence in my life as the root cause of my untied shoe. Laugh if will, but I kid you not. I can turn a splinter into an epidemic faster than a Nascar driver can go from 0 to 100, and without even breaking a sweat. Don’t judge me though; I’m working on it.
Fortunately, we humans are rather adaptable, when we choose to be. Change may not be easy, but it is possible. A few months ago a friend shared some words that struck a chord in me. In a nutshell she said that our words are powerful and have the potential to orchestrate our lives in positive or negative ways. If we constantly say we are tired, or stressed, or mad, or stupid, you name it, there’s a very good possibility we will be. We tend to believe what we hear and if we hear ourselves say those things constantly . . . well, you get the idea. Now, I’m not necessarily advocating for a bunch of empty, fluffy self talk although I do think there is a place for an occasional, “Atta, girl, you’ve got this.” What I am suggesting is adhering to the old adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I took my friend’s advice to heart and started simply keeping my mouth shut. Now the face, I can’t control that so well, my eyes are liable to bulge out of my head, but the mouth I can clamp down and refuse to open. Funny thing happened when I stopped dramatizing things, life not only got calmer, but the planets started to realign, so to speak. We found some of the answers we had been looking for, some exciting doors began to open and oddly enough, I found myself at peace even during the seasonal storms.
Bottom line? Try as we might, we can’t change the seasons. We Texans would really like to experience Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall but all we get is Hot, Hotter, Hottest and maybe Slightly More Comfortable. The only thing we can control is our attitude, perspective and approach. So, keep your mouth shut and forge ahead; even the hardest seasons will eventually come to a close.
Until Next Time
Becky J Miller
Warrior Princess