Sometimes the Hardest Thing and the Right Thing are the Same

The Fray has a song entitled, ”All at Once”. The song is about a lost relationship, but there is a stanza, “Sometimes the Hardest Thing & the Right Thing are the Same” that often plays on my mental jukebox when I am struggling with a difficult decision.

These past few weeks the verse has been stuck in my head on auto-repeat. After 9 ½ years in the same job, I made the very difficult decision to leave. If I’m being honest, which I generally am, it’s not the job itself that’s so hard to leave, but the people.

Oh, I’m good at my job, damn good actually, and while I may struggle to learn a new job, I will no doubt miss the comfort of the familiar. Informing my managers of my departure was difficult, sickening even, but telling my friends and co-workers has proven even more heart wrenching than I had imagined.

If I could bottle my tears and reuse them, the earth would never have to worry about a drought. A former manager sent me scurrying back to my cubicle teary eyed with these simple words, “We’re going to miss you, Kid.” Rick is always ready for conversation with some delightful story from his life. He is definitely one of a kind.

And then there’s Markus, a fellow runner who often stands outside in the morning sipping his coffee. His mere presence as I arrive is comforting. It saddens me that I’ll no longer have impromptu pre-workday conversations with him. He works on the first floor and I on the third, but occasionally he surprises me by showing up at my desk for a visit. I’m going miss those unexpected breaks.

My dear friend Mandy; life won’t be the same without our monthly lunches, Happy Hours and regular conversations. I couldn’t say what started our friendship, I think it was random water cooler and restroom talk but our relationship has blossomed over the years and I am sad we will no longer work in the same building.

Mike is always ready with a hug, which is oddly comforting for me the non-hugger. Although he earned his Master’s and I a Bachelor’s from the same college, his undergraduate work was completed at a college with a fierce rivalry against the college my youngest son attends and plays football. Needless to say, there is much trash talk about football. We’ve run some races together and he always beats me. I may never get a chance to redeem myself now.

Remember Norm from Cheers and the theme song that says, “Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name?” For me that place is the office; from the CFO, to the CEO, to the Vice Presidents, to the Mailroom Ladies, and the Facilities Porter, we are not strangers. Relationships are not easy for me, but these have become comfortable, even the people I know only by phone and email, I will miss.

Judy is a fellow church-goer, she’s the one I share my problems and concerns with because I know she will encourage and pray for me. She sits two desks down from me, but once I leave, it’ll be like we are worlds apart.

I don’t do people well, but over time, so many have managed to push past those barriers and taken the time to get to know some aspect of the real Becky.

As I left for lunch last week, one of the vice presidents who’d heard of my departure asked about my future plans. Tears filled my eyes as I shared details and expressed my sadness over leaving. His eyes pooled too as he hugged me and said, “You’re doing the right thing.”

I know this decision, though painful, is the right thing to do. I truly believe the right thing is most often the hardest choice to make. Comfortable is easy, but comfort never made any discoveries or broke down any barriers. It is when we make the difficult decisions that hurdles begin to give way to growth and new adventures we could not have imagined.

Next time you face something tough just remember the Fray. “Sometimes the Right Thing and the Hardest Thing are the Same.” Choose wisely my friends, for the easy choice is not likely to be the right one.

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”