Today, it is a very good thing that newspapers, on-line or print, are items to be read and therefore provide some degree of separation from the audience, unlike say, live television. Why do I feel this way? Well, because at this very moment, I am beyond exhausted, mentally, physically and spiritually. Fatigued literally to the point of tears over the lack of sparkling water to mix my prickly pear vodka with, and if I had to orate my column on live television viewers would not only be appalled, they’d quite likely change the station and never tune in again.
At this moment I am reclining on my bed, surrounded by my “I Heart My Airman” camouflage wearing teddy bear, Cali the stuffed dog from my friends in (big surprise here) California and Obedience Bear, a relic from a time long ago when my parents sold Christian themed toys. My bare feet, with shamefully unpainted toes, rest on Pete the pink camo pillow pet, a gift from that time I was run over by a semi-truck. My unkempt hair is tossed in quasi bun while my body is clothed in very comfortable Texas State shorts and an oversized Dallas Cowboys tee. My face is devoid of make up and there is no adornment ‘round my neck, on my ears, fingers or wrists; definitely not a sight fit for public viewing.
Without supplying all the boring details, I’ll just say that this season of life in which I find myself is well, not what I would have chosen. It seems, and I know a lot of it has to do with my perception, that not much has turned out as I had planned. However, my intention here is not to have a “woo is me” pity party, but simply to set the stage for being thankful.
I could choose to wallow in my misery, and if I’m being honest, the desire to simply curl up in my dark room and wallow here for a bit was extremely tempting. Looking at the bigger picture though, had I chosen to give in to the temptation, at some point, I’d still have to pull myself together and knock out this column. It seems a wiser choice to go ahead and put on my big girl panties right way rather than wasting time and then still having to put them on later.
This very week is the time in which we celebrate Thanksgiving, a day for enjoying food, family, football and reflecting on the good things in our lives. Thanksgiving though, ought not be commemorated only once a year, it seems more of a virtue to be practiced daily. Which by my own admission is not always easy to do, but I am going to make a valiant effort!
Being somewhat of a pessimist I don’t always look for the positive, particularly when I’m knee deep in the mud & muck. My narrow perspective though is liable to cause me to miss out on the good things because I’m too darn busy being grumpy.
I truly do have much to be grateful for. My three young adult children are each making their own way in life, I may not always agree with their choices, but I love watching them blossom into full-fledged adults with whom I enjoy spending time and having a conversation.
I have good friends, different people who fill my life with companionship. One very special friend drove all the way from Houston to Waco to do my daughter’s college graduation photo shoot. Unbeknownst to us, she’d actually put her photography business on a back burner, but willingly came out of semi-retirement simply because of our relationship.
The company I work for completed a state of Texas audit earlier this year. The audit went very well and just this week the company hosted an after hours party for the team involved in the audit. Admittedly, being an introvert, I was not excited about attending the party, but the beautifully decorated and warmly inviting room immediately put me at ease. The friendly bartender, and waiters walking around with delicious and bountiful appetizers made me feel very special and appreciated as did the presence of much of the top company brass all of which expressed their thankfulness for the job(s) we do.
An innocent conversation my husband had with someone led to an opportunity for me to make a little extra spending money. My first paycheck went towards three pairs, at about the same cost of one pair, of my favorite Kendra Scott earrings. Saving money is always something for which to be thankful. And, it’s Kendra Scott! Need I say more?
I am honored to be part of a committee that raises funds to make Christmas happen for children who have been taken away from their homes and have to live in a shelter. I have had the privilege of participating in this event for about four years now, and it never gets old.
By the time you read this column, I will have accompanied my husband on a business trip to Dallas where I have plans to spend time with both my biological sister, and my sister by marriage. I cherish time spent with family.
Life can be hard, frankly it can suck at times, but even in the midst of the trials, if we try, I believe we can all find something for which we can be grateful. Go ahead, give it shot, I promise the pain is only temporary and it won’t leave any scars!
Until Next Time,
Becky J Miller
“Warrior Princess”