Honestly, I’ve no idea when exactly I became a badge-carrying member of the Grammar Police, but believe me, when I tell you, I am definitely a member! Perhaps it was my college English professor’s comments on one of my essays exclaiming, “Your writing clearly reflects that you are an avid reader,” that first enlightened me to how truly important writing is.
Think about it, a job application and resume are the first clues potential employers have into the abilities of prospective candidates. As a manager who has interviewed/hired numerous people, I’ve ruled folks out simply because they cannot properly complete an application. Come on, before you judge me, writing is an incredibly fundamental part of so many jobs, if someone cannot formulate simple sentences how can they ever expect to communicate effectively with clients?
In my professional career, I’ve received so many cringe-worthy emails. Witnessing heinous abuses of the English language always leaves me asking the question, “Did you sleep through high school English classes?” Please hang in there while we navigate through some very common grammar mistakes; hopefully, some of you will “get it” and join the ranks of those who understand the delicacies of the English language.
Let us begin with two of the most commonly abused words, “your” and “you’re.” This one really should be simple; “you’re” is short for you. are. In other words, the proper usage is “You are welcome, or You’re welcome.”
“Your”, by definition, is, “belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing.” If someone were to say, “Your welcome” the meaning completely changes to mean, the welcome belongs to you, which makes absolutely no sense. This lesson is an easy one, before choosing, ask yourself, “Would this phrase make sense if I were to say, ‘you are?’ Either way, you have your answer.
My BIGGEST pet peeve is “y’all” versus “ya’ll”. I am certain we learned this in elementary school; an apostrophe replaces something. In the contraction y’all, the apostrophe stands in for “ou” as in, you. all. Putting the apostrophe between the a and l is pointless! It serves no purpose and only shows ignorance on the part of the abuser.
Don’t believe me? Look at any contraction; “Isn’t” is short for is. not. “Weren’t” is short for were. not. “Where’d” is short for where. did. “Aren’t” is short for are. not. “Couldn’t” is short for could. not. Undeniably, the apostrophe ALWAYS replaces letters. If no letters are missing, then an apostrophe is absolutely useless, unless one is indicating possession which is an entirely different blog.
This next one is a bit more complicated, “wear” versus “where”. “Wear” refers to physically putting an item on the body. For example, “During Texas’ snowmageddon it is highly likely that all mamas insisted their offspring wear coats when venturing outdoors.”
“Where” refers to a place, position, or situation. These same Mamas might ask, “Where do think you are going in this winter storm?” A brilliant Mama can use both words in the same sentence, “If you wear dirty jeans and faded t-shirts to work every day, where do you expect to land career-wise?
Also commonly confused, “were” and “we’re”. “We’re” is another one of those aforementioned contractions with an apostrophe indicating missing letters, or in this case, a letter. We’re is short for we. are. We’re going to the store. We are going to the store.
This will knock some socks off but “were” is the past tense of be. Adding verb tenses to the conversation opens another English language pandora’s box, but to effectively communicate, especially in a written format, these lessons are paramount.
Although I can use “were” and “we’re” in similar sentences, the meaning is completely different. “Were you going to the store later?” does not mean the same thing as “We’re you going to the store later?” In the second context, the sentence makes one’s head spin, because it translates “We are you going to the store later?” HUH?
And please, for the love of all that is good, do not confuse “were”, “we’re”, “wear” and “where”. Just. Don’t. Even this wordsmith uses Google, online dictionaries, a thesaurus plus grammar/spell checker religiously lest I ever be caught in a compromising English language quandary.
Any card-carrying grammar police failing to mention “their”, “there” and “they’re” should have their credential revoked. These rules honestly are not difficult to follow, but they do require writers to put time and thought into anything written. Read, re-read and re-read a third time just to be sure.
“Their” is possessive. Their yard is so beautiful and green. Their cat needs to stay out of my backyard. Their car is always beautifully maintained. Honestly, for the best contextual use, their beings in a paragraph setting. A stand-alone sentence such as “Their yard is so beautiful and green” may leave the reader wondering, “Whose yard???” It would make more sense to say, “Our neighbors spend every weekend working outdoors. Their yard is so beautiful and green.” Now the reader knows exactly which yard the writer refers to.
“There” is primarily directional. Easy. Look out, there is a spider on your head! I left the car over there. Put your suitcase right there in the corner.
“They’re” should be easy as we’ve already learned about contractions. The apostrophe replaces an “a”. They are. They’re moving out of state. They are moving out of state. See, these English language basics are not complicated, and using them will make the writer seem so much smarter.
In closing, regardless of what you may have heard, “IRREGARDLESS” does not have a place in any properly written document. Although commonly used amongst peasants, most dictionaries label the word as nonstandard. I have heard through reliable sources that the highest-ranking members of the Grammar Police are currently seeking indictments against Miriam Webster and Oxford Dictionary for their crimes of caving to popular culture. The inclusion of this highly offensive term in their latest publications is a bane to us all.
Until Next Time,
Becky J Miller
Warrior Princess